what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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