Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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