Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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