I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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