omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
