I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
be right there i have to get my cape
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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