I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
