Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we should paint friendship bongs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
