There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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