I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
