Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
