I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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