is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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