I love black thongs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
