All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
