Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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