I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
