Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
