so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
