I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
