So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
