Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
