She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
