So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
