Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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