My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
