careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
