fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
