The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
