How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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