Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
