White coat. Heels.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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