So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
