try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
