All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
