Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize