I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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