Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
