theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
