Have you finally orgasmed yet?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
