random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
