My hand turned me down
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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