i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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