I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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