How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My bed smells like the plague
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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