I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
