what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
