The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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