I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
