i just had sex bonerless
and she was petting her beer can
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
