Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
