okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
