Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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