i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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