I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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