What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
