Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
