Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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