hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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